Adjusting

My son has been home for a week and it has been the hardest and most rewarding week ever. Hard, not because of Obi, but because of other things. I have struggled with extreme constipation (pain worse than labor), stitches that came apart in two places, a dog that dragged 10lbs of frozen chicken onto my living room rug and let it thaw, that same dog of mine ran into a skunk last night at 11pm, and my husbands grandmother passed away on Wednesday...so he is driving almost to Colorado to be a pallbearer this weekend, and then the roller coaster of emotions. The things that happened NEVER happen...why this week? I don't know other than that the Lord must have a sense of humor or is trying to prepare us for something. I am hoping that it is just the first reason and not the second.

Obi has been a perfect, wonderful baby though! He is very laid back and doesn't fuss unless he's hungry. The first few nights he was up and feeding every two hours or so, but then the last three nights I've fed him at around 10:30, then not again until 1:30ish and he sleeps until 5:30. These four hour stints have allowed me to get some good rest and feel like I am getting back to myself a bit. It still hurts terribly to sit down, but every day it gets better. I do have my emotional moments, would by lying if I said otherwise. Once I start crying I have an awful hard time stopping...BUT, I absolutely adore being a mommy. I can't believe that I am so blessed to call this child my own. There are many times that I have been fearful or I have thought about what "could happen", but I am trying to remind myself that above all, Obi belongs to the Lord and He will watch out and protect him better than I ever could. That is very comforting!!

I was talking with my bf Elizabeth about breastfeeding and she said that she hasn't heard of anyone ever having such an easy time with that as I've had. For that, I am extremely thankful. For everyone who has had a hard time, I am so sorry!! I am just starting to get used to the routine of feeding every 2-4 hours. Obi and I are going to be attached at the hip for a while I guess. :-) I don't mind, it will just be an adjustment for me.

I've been putting this post together for the past three days and am just now making it happen. Funny how life changes, huh?! All for the better...wouldn't trade my new life for anything.

He couldn't be any sweeter if he tried!

Obi Herron is Home!!

We are home...all three of us (four if you include the dog). :-) It feels great to be back from the hospital and starting to settle in. (Quick side note, I am typing this while laying on my couch and my laptop is ON my belly, it is amazing to have full use of my stomach again.)

Thursday morning we went in to the hospital for a scheduled induction. Got there are 6:30 and was in a gown and in bed by 7. The nurse started a low pitocin drip in my IV to get it going. By 9:30 I had my epidural and then the nurse raised the dose of pitocin right up. For the better part of the day I stayed at a 3-4cm dilated and 90% effaced. The contractions I was having looked really strong on the external monitors, but because I wasn't really dilated they went ahead and put in internal monitors for both me and the baby. Once they did that they realized that the contractions weren't terribly strong afterall. So, the upped the dose of pitocin again and within an hour I was completely dilated and almost ready to start pushing. The doctor came to check really quickly before she had to do a c-section and since the baby was still not quite low enough she wanted me to wait and see if he would move down a bit. The fabulous thing was that all day long I felt NOTHING!! We hung out, watched some tv, talked, had some friends stop by and just really enjoyed the day. However, by 5pm there was a whole side of my ride hip that was not getting any epidural medicine and it was terribly painful. I could handle it with breathing, but let's just say that I was made very aware of how grateful I was to not be feeling the rest of my body. Thankfully the nurses were able to fix everything and by 7:30ish the doctor was back and I was ready to start pushing. To be honest, it was a great experience. We just chatted with the doctor and nurse about their kids and families, the differences between pentacostals and baptists and then they were giving us suggestions for baby names. We'd just stop talking every time there was a contraction and I would push and then we'd pick back up our converstation. Unfortunately, the baby's head was rotated sideways and everytime I pushed they could rotate him back around, but not enough to where he would stay put. After over an hour of pushing the doctor said that he wasn't going to come out without some help...so we could do a c-section or try the forceps first. We opted for the forceps...which, I was SO grateful I couldn't feel those go in. The doctor rotated the baby's head and when she did that, the whole rest of the baby rotated to, it was such a wierd feeling. Within 6 pushes I had his head and the rest of his little body out!!! There are two things I remember first after he came out. 1- that his head was huge and cone-shaped and I was SHOCKED at how big he was, 2- that my stomach was immediately like jelly. They took him immediately over to the warmer to get him cleaned up and I had torn pretty badly, on top of having an episiotomy, so it took a while to get stitched up. Jason called my mom to come in to see the baby and as they were looking at him I started to get sick feeling. I called Jason over to grab a bucket and I was going to heave. He got there just in time, I rolled over started throwing up and just as I did, the pressure from throwing up caused the placenta to shoot out...literally. It hit the doctor smack in the middle of the chest and splatted to the floor and sent blood everywhere. It was like a horror film. The doctor stood up and I remember hearing her say, "um, I think I need a new gown". She was covered head to toe, her hair was dripping blood. It was so gross and funny at the same time. I was embarrassed and mortified to have done that to her, but she just laughed and said it was all part of the job.

So, there in a nutshell is the birthing story. What about the babe?

His name is (after much deliberation): Obadiah Knight Herron. We call him Obi, and it totally suits him. Knight is a family name on Jason's side, so that is where it came from. He was 8lbs 11oz and 21 inches long. He is terribly bright and alert and incredibly beautiful. I did not at all expect for my baby to be so cute right from the beginning. We are both smitten with him and decided that we would bring him home from the hospital after all. ;-) He is cuddly and snuggly and just perfect in every way. God has blessed our family immensely and we are in awe of this gift we have been given.

Here are a few pictures of our new man!

Here he is...just a few minutes old.

I was pretty darn excited!!

Awww...so sleepy!
Jason finally has someone to test his toy on. :-)

So sweet...I am in love.

I'll be posting more pictures again soon. Things are getting a little more settled in. My mom is here until next Wednesday and it is SO helpful having her here.

insomnia

It is 3:56...and I am awake! Having only slept for about 45 minutes tonight, I can most assuredly say that I am tired. Why, oh why, dear eyes can you not stay closed?

We went to the Dr. today for my 40 week check up. Still 2cm dilated, but I am 75% effaced. Unless he makes his own grand entrance, we will be checking into the hospital at 5am on Thursday morning and we'll start the gig. I am relieved to know there is an end in sight. I have had quite a few contractions tonight, 30 t0 be exact since midnight, but there isn't any regularity of timing or strength. I am still praying that he decides to come on his own.

That's all I got for now. If I wasn't so tired I would try and come up with something clever to write about, but my brain is mush. The only pleasant thing about being awake tonight is that I have been listening to the rain pitter patter on my skylight. Such a sweet and relaxing sound.

Baby room complete

Jason and I finally finished all the projects for the baby's room today. Well, truth be told, Jason finished all the projects. I organized some diapers, added my opinion (which just made his day harder), and I took some pictures. So...way to go Jason for being an awesome dad already! Tomorrow is the due date. I am just hanging out like a beached whale waiting for this kid to come out. I keep telling him that he really can't stay in there forever and please do come out! So far he hasn't been obedient. Hope this isn't a sign of things to come.

Here are some pictures of his room:

#1- a little bookshelf and his basket of stuffed animals. So far we haven't had any go missing because of the dog, although he is mighty interested in them.

#2 - Jason made this awesome rope shelves to hang above his dresser. They are SO cute and I love 'em.

#3 We decided to go with an airplane theme in his room and we are pretty excited about it. All the ultrasounds we had done said he is a boy...but if for some reason we come home with a girl, we've got to change a lot around. This room is pretty boyish!
Yesterday Jason spotted this antique model bi-plane hanging from outside an junk store. We pulled into the parking lot and hopped out. The lady sold it for $29!!! We've been searching and searching for something this cool, but hadn't had any luck. They had no idea that what they sold us was well worth over $150-200. Needless to say we are excited about it.
Ok...so that's about it. Nothing else happening really. Tomorrow is the due date, so we'll see if he was just waiting for that.

277 down...3 to go

I am three days from my due date. The waiting is killing me, I have to keep myself busy or I just get grumpy. ;-) Any other new mommas-to-be feel like that?! As of Wednesday I am 2cm dilated and 25% effaced. The tentative schedule now is go back to the Dr on Monday for my 40 week check-up, and if nothing has happened by then, we will have a scheduled induction on Wednesday night! SO...if nothing else, we will see our baby by Thursday morning/afternoon sometime.

Fortunately, my mom came in on Tuesday night, so I've had her here to hang out with, talk with and do any last minute things. I don't know that I have ever had any length of time to myself with my mom (since I am one of 5 kids), so I am cherishing our time together.

Other than that, we are just chilling out and doing any safe exercises possible that will help wiggle this baby loose. ;-)

waiting

I have officially been done with work for 8 weeks as of tomorrow. Crazy! I can't believe how quickly the time has flown by. Since I was still in school for 6 weeks of that, I did keep rather busy with classes and homework. The past two weeks have been blissfully wide open to spend time with friends, do last minute projects around my house, and enjoy life. However, that being said, I am not a person who enjoys endless hours of nothing structured to do....especially when I am just waiting for this baby to arrive.

I have a mere 10 days, 1 hour and 40 minutes to go until my due date. The last appointment I went to the dr said that I was just starting to dilate a little and that his wee head is all set to go. My mom is coming on Tuesday evening and is super anxious about the baby coming before she gets here. Since I am the only girl in my family, my birthing experience will probably be her only chance to be in the delivery room when all the "action" takes place. :-) I am nervous about her being there, partially because I am afraid I just may say a bad word because of the pain (and I am not sure my mother knows any bad words), and partially because I really have no clue of what to expect. Regardless, my mom was a nurse and had five kids herself...so she may know a few things that will be helpful. On the other hand, my poor dear husband is simply in agony waiting for his son to appear. He wants his wife back and he wants to hold his baby. We've discussed the whole 6 weeks of recouperation time after the birth, but I think he would be satisfied to just hold me close without my giant belly being in the way.

And, what do I want? I am not sure. I really am about to go nuts just wondering what he will look like. I dread going to bed at night because I am so uncomfortable and rolling over is painful. Almost every morning I wake up at 4:30 and can't fall asleep for an hour or two...so I often feel very unrested in the morning. I am so ready to have my body return to a somewhat normal shape, to have my feet and ankles fit into something other than my flip flops, and to be able to only use the restroom 4/5 times a day instead. BUT...I am nervous about pushing this kid out. I am cherishing these last few days of time with my husband...just us two. I am soaking in the ease of getting in and out of my car without having to lug a carseat with me. There is a gentle, clean and organized peace in my house these days and I LOVE IT!

So, I guess what all that sums up is that I am making the most of the last few days/hours before my dear wee one arrives, but I am SO looking forward to meeting my boy. Whatever happens, he will be mine and I love him so much already.

processing

I have taken a blogging hiatus for the past two weeks...partially because I've been busy with a trip up to Wichita, finishing up my class for the summer, getting ready for Baby Herron and spending time with sweet friends. But partially it is because I am processing some family happenings at the moment...and am lost in my thoughts, prayers and the uncertainty of it all.

Starting with the suicide of my uncle earlier this month my family has seemed to have one crisis after another. I've spent hours on the phone back and forth with each of my parents and with each of my four brothers. At the end of all the conversations I am left silently praying "God, HELP!" It is moments like these that I really am struck by my lack of wisdom and knowledge of what to do, how to help. But the scriptures talk over and over about when we lack wisdom. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. (James 1:5). I am finding myself humbled in this situation and truly needing to lean on God's grace and goodness to solve the issues in my family. Thankfully, God hears our prayers and is working out His will in each of our lives.

I am 26, but still often feel like I am still in the process of learning what it means to be an adult and how to be healthfully differentiated from my family. This process is painful, as it is stripping away things that I held/hold dear and that I clung to as a safety net. It is also a precious process as it is causing me to turn towards the Lord more and more as my safe haven, my Rock and my Shelter.

I've always thought of God as being on the throne in Heaven and though I am joyful to be there, I am also at the back of the crowd...so very far from His immediate presence. I am not sure where or when I developed that mental picture, but I am realizing just how not true that image is! God created me, not because He needed another person to fill the earth, but because He loves me and desires an intense relationship with me. He desires to have that relationship both now and in Heaven. What is the point of Him being omnipresent if it wasn't to BE with me along every step of the road?!

So tonight I am continuing to pray and seek the Lord for wisdom, comfort and grace. If I seek Him with my whole heart, He WILL be found. What an amazingly wonderful thing that is. It is so ironic that the more I learn, the more I realize just how little I really do know. If you happen to think of me in the next few days, just say a prayer for my family. That God would give clarity and somehow intervene in what seems like impossible situations. Nothing is too small for God, this I know. My baby boy that is about to be born is an oh-so-clear testimony to that fact. I am tremendously grateful for such an obvious reality of God's faithfulness in my life.