waiting

I have officially been done with work for 8 weeks as of tomorrow. Crazy! I can't believe how quickly the time has flown by. Since I was still in school for 6 weeks of that, I did keep rather busy with classes and homework. The past two weeks have been blissfully wide open to spend time with friends, do last minute projects around my house, and enjoy life. However, that being said, I am not a person who enjoys endless hours of nothing structured to do....especially when I am just waiting for this baby to arrive.

I have a mere 10 days, 1 hour and 40 minutes to go until my due date. The last appointment I went to the dr said that I was just starting to dilate a little and that his wee head is all set to go. My mom is coming on Tuesday evening and is super anxious about the baby coming before she gets here. Since I am the only girl in my family, my birthing experience will probably be her only chance to be in the delivery room when all the "action" takes place. :-) I am nervous about her being there, partially because I am afraid I just may say a bad word because of the pain (and I am not sure my mother knows any bad words), and partially because I really have no clue of what to expect. Regardless, my mom was a nurse and had five kids herself...so she may know a few things that will be helpful. On the other hand, my poor dear husband is simply in agony waiting for his son to appear. He wants his wife back and he wants to hold his baby. We've discussed the whole 6 weeks of recouperation time after the birth, but I think he would be satisfied to just hold me close without my giant belly being in the way.

And, what do I want? I am not sure. I really am about to go nuts just wondering what he will look like. I dread going to bed at night because I am so uncomfortable and rolling over is painful. Almost every morning I wake up at 4:30 and can't fall asleep for an hour or two...so I often feel very unrested in the morning. I am so ready to have my body return to a somewhat normal shape, to have my feet and ankles fit into something other than my flip flops, and to be able to only use the restroom 4/5 times a day instead. BUT...I am nervous about pushing this kid out. I am cherishing these last few days of time with my husband...just us two. I am soaking in the ease of getting in and out of my car without having to lug a carseat with me. There is a gentle, clean and organized peace in my house these days and I LOVE IT!

So, I guess what all that sums up is that I am making the most of the last few days/hours before my dear wee one arrives, but I am SO looking forward to meeting my boy. Whatever happens, he will be mine and I love him so much already.