A thing that totally stinks!

So, I have a new "thing" list that needs to be added to the below post.

Things that totally stink:
- Baby's first shots...I am still not exactly sure which one of us it hurt most, him or me?! My sweet baby almost never cries, and in fact I have only heard him out and out scream just two or three times. The shots though, gosh...he screamed when they gave them to him, and then a few hours later you could just tell he felt awful. He was crying and screamed and wouldn't be consoled, that has never happened! So, we went and bought some baby tylenol and that has helped immensely.

On a positive note though, he is 23.5 inches long, 13lbs. 10oz., and growing very well. The doctor said that he is a nicely proportioned child that is on the big (NOT fat) side of average. We just may have a tall kid on our hands one day!

Ok, that's it for tonight. I need to get a few things done before his tylenol wears off.

things

I have been horrible at keeping this blog updated. My darling baby is now two months old. The time has FLOWN by! I can't believe that nine weeks ago I was in the hospital with a brand new baby. It feels like he has been a part of "us" for much longer than nine weeks. For the most part the transition has been super smooth and we've adjusted really well to having Mr. Obi as our son.

Things that have surprised me:
- baby fingernails grow really fast
- how much I love my video baby monitor, it is so helpful
- that I need to pack a change of clothes for myself along with Obi's diaper bag
- I really miss regular coffee
- that I DID eat a lot of dairy....didn't think I did until I had to refrain...sad day!
- my motivation to do homework went from medium to zero
- jumbo and mega packs of diapers seemed like a never ending supply. this is not true, the supply ends rather quickly.

Things that drive me crazy:
- Pooka shutting himself in the bathroom when he wants attention.
- that my cell phone always rings just after I have started to feed Obi

Things that I didn't think about before Obi was born:
- that I don't know the words to nursery rhymes or lullaby's, kinda hard to sing to him if I don't know the words!
- BIG dilema...what to do...load the groceries, then the baby? the baby, then the groceries? what about the shopping cart? Does that go back after the baby is in the car? take the baby with the cart back to the stall, and then carry the baby back to the car? AGH...these instructions weren't in the mommy manual.

Things that I love:
- the smell of my baby right after he gets out of the bathtub
- when Jason talks to Obi and tells him about the fun things they are going to do together
- going on walks together as a family
- snuggling together
- listening to Obi try and "talk" to me
- staying home, instead of going to work

There are lots more things in each category to be sure, but I can't think of any more right now.

This thing called school

There is a huge dilemma staring me down at the moment, it is this thing called school. You see, I started my masters program almost two years ago. I've been taking classes year round, with the exception of the 8 weeks I took off while having Obi. There are a few things that I have said regarding my continuing education...

"I'll just work 10-15, at most 20, hours a week after I graduate."

"I want to do something with my life, more than just being a stay at home mom."

"If something were to happen to Jason, I don't know that I could provide for our family very well on just my bachelor's degree."

"I want to help people."

The thing is, that once I had my little Obi, it was like the world changed for me. I don't want to go anywhere for 10-15, at most 20 hours a week!! I want nothing more that to be with my little boy and be his mommy. I don't want to miss out on anything in his life. The nights that I have to go to class are awful. Not that going to class is that hard, but I just dread it all day long. I have ZERO motivation to do homework (which is not a good thing). My biggest problem is that after this semester is over I will start my practicum. Between the practicum hours and the classes I need to take in order to graduate by May 2011, I will be gone from him at least 20 hours a week, probably more every week until graduation!!

So, I am weighing my options...

1. Carry on and just push through.
2. Delay graduation and take a slower pace.
3. See if there isn't a program at another university that I could transfer to and just graduate with a master's without being licensed to counsel.
4. Quit altogether.

I am praying. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel guilty for wanting to quit, I feel as though I am letting everyone around me down. Who knows why I feel that way. I feel guilty for just wanting to be a mom. What I do know is that guilt is not of the Lord. I do know that my "doing something with my life" is not determined by having a masters degree. I was going to quit the second week of classes, but decided to go ahead and finish out this semester in order to give myself time to think, process, pray and decide.

I am thankful that I have a VERY supportive husband who doesn't care what I do as long as in the end I am happy. What would I do without this best friend of mine? I am sure that once we are all sleeping through the night and Obi isn't eating every three hours during the day that it will get a lot easier and I may feel different than I do right now. I don't know...so again, I am just praying for wisdom and discernment. I know that God will be faithful to give me an answer, and in the meantime, walk beside me as I try and figure it all out.