high places

I am pretty sure that teething goes hand in hand with the punishment that Eve brought upon us women. Can I get an Amen? Obadiah has been cutting his four incisors for the past month, and the majority of that time has been painful for him and therefore painful for us.  Coupled with the fact that he isn't napping/sleeping well, has a bit of a cold and cough, and can't adequately communicate...well, this means that today was rough. The past few days, no, the past two weeks have been really rough.  I won't lie.  There were tears today.  And an argument with my sweet husband that came home at lunch time to try and help. And I wasn't entirely cheerful as I was changing a dirty diaper of screaming, kicking little boy.

And as I was doing a pile of dishes the Lord and I had a little conversation that went like this.
Me: "Lord, I need some help here.  I want to be patient, kind, and loving."
God: "Come away my child".
Me: "But, I have this pile of dishes to do before Obi wakes up.  It will be impossibly hard to do once he gets up".
God: "I know, but this is more important".
Me: "Can I just get this sink-full done and then come?"
God: "Yes, I am here waiting for you."

I so wish that I had just left the dishes.  They would have waited.  Why did I let God wait, and not the dishes?  Just as I was rinsing off the last one and I was flipped the switch off on the garbage disposal I heard a little voice crying.  My chance for solitude and quiet for my soul was gone.

Thankfully, God worked a small miracle with my kiddo and had him occupied for a few minutes in his room later on and I crept over to my bible and laptop.  What I came to was this, " yet I will rejoice in he Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.  The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to on the heights." Habakuk 3:18-19.  I must find my strength in the Lord and I must choose to rejoice and be joyful. Ah...that is so hard to do.  But He says that He enables me to go on to the heights.  Maybe today my "heights" are only making it through a day without giving in to the temptation to be upset or lose my patience.  But today that would truly have been a "height".  So that is what I asked for, and that is what I meditated on throughout the rest of my afternoon.  That God would enable me to go to the high places.  From there I can see beyond myself and my little corner of the world.  Fortunately, His mercies are new every morning.  I am going to need some mercy and some enabling of my feet tomorrow.  But I would rather live striving towards the high place rather than spiraling downward into myself and my little problems. 

You know what I newly discovered today?  Choosing to be joyful and to rejoice in the Lord makes for a much more pleasant day, for both myself and my family. And really, the life God has blessed me with is fantastic, warts and all.

one week until...

I am in Kansas for Thanksgiving.  I told Jason that I don't want to eat pickled herring this year.  Made a horrid mistake my first thanksgiving with the Kansas side of his family.  I didn't run from Grandpa Daniels when he pulled out some toothpicks and shoved them into the herring.  I should have known that he was going to aim for my mouth with the herring.  My husband's grandparents drive all the way to a special town to pick up that gunk.  It is a highlight for them, one in which they love to share with everyone who is too dumb to quickly stuff something else in their mouth right as Grandpa makes his aim. I am smarter now.  I have several "Kansas Thanksgivings" under my belt and my escape routes are well mapped. 

But, as much as I am NOT a fan of Grandpa's herring...I do love the games of mexican train that follow the big dinner, and the handmade potato chips that precede it.  I partake in the annual tradition of bringing out everyone's Black Friday fliers and making a huge list of where we are all going to shop and what time of the night, er...morning, we are meeting up. I love the laughs and hugs and the parade.  I am so very thankful for this family that so graciously welcomed me into their clan eight years ago.  They have truly made me one of them and it is nice to belong.

A week from now I will most likely be out shopping with the crazy women of Jason's family. Last year I was still breastfeeding so I didn't go at 4am.  This year, I am leaving my two men home and I am going out for some strong coffee to start the day and then some good sales to sweeten it with.

not happenin'

You know that stuffed bunny I was attempting to make??  Well, it has been an epic fail.  Multiple tries, a wreck of a spare room, and many hours later...  I have decided that my calling in life is not to make stuffed toys.  Tomorrow I am going to the store and we are going to buy one.  Not the same as a sweet homemade toy, but I just CANNOT justify sending an already poor kid a little toy animal that looks like it has be maimed.  I want the kid to be happy when he opens his box, not permanently scarred.

It was worth a try though.  But the adage of "if at first you don't succeed...try, try again" does not apply in this scenario.  It really doesn't. I promise!

today

today I .....

went for a super long walk with my mom.  It was great.  We stopped to feed some horses, played with Obi on a playground, and just enjoyed each other's company.  Being adults together is WAY better than me being a teen and living at home.   Yeah, I tortured her.  I am sorry about that now.

went shopping for a new top to wear to have our family pictures taken this afternoon.  Should I have gone shopping earlier than the DAY OF?!  Yes.  I should have.

am enjoying the cloudy, morose, feeling of the weather.  It is cool, but not cold.  It is overcast, but not pouring rain.  There is a faint musty smell of leaves in the wind, and it reminds me of "home".  I don't know why it does because I didn't grow up with a fall season, but never the less....when I smell those fallen leaves I feel all cosy and comforted by home.  Weird, huh?!

made a cup of hot cider and coffee at breakfast.  Both are sitting half full on the counter.  I am a horrible drinker.  This is how I know that I will never become an alcoholic.  If I can't drink a whole cup of hot, creamy, deliciously sweet coffee while it is still hot and my body needs the caffeine...then my shot at downing too much alcohol is not that great.

am going to make a little stuffed bunny to put in our shoebox for Operation Christmas Child.  If it doesn't turn out so well then I will go buy a little stuffed toy, but I wanted make something for the little boy.  Maybe he won't know that I made it, but I will.  I will pray for this little boy while I make it and hope that he will feel loved when he opens that box.

have Food Network on.  I find that channel so comforting.  I just wish that I could smell what they are cooking.

am putting vegetable beef soup in the crock pot for dinner.  The cloudy weather is begging for some warm soup and corn muffins this evening.

am going to spend some time reading with my kiddo.  More than just before bed time.  He and I fit perfectly in the rocking chair together.  One day we won't. So, today I am going to soak up some of that sweet time together.

really want to dye my hair super blonde.  But I am chicken, so I won't.  I had a bad experience once in college.  It involved henna, and a hat to cover it up, and a comment that my hair somewhat resembled an orange highlighter. I've been a little dye-shy since.

There is a brief look into my day. Nothing fancy schmancy, just a little bit of my ordinary.