high places

I am pretty sure that teething goes hand in hand with the punishment that Eve brought upon us women. Can I get an Amen? Obadiah has been cutting his four incisors for the past month, and the majority of that time has been painful for him and therefore painful for us.  Coupled with the fact that he isn't napping/sleeping well, has a bit of a cold and cough, and can't adequately communicate...well, this means that today was rough. The past few days, no, the past two weeks have been really rough.  I won't lie.  There were tears today.  And an argument with my sweet husband that came home at lunch time to try and help. And I wasn't entirely cheerful as I was changing a dirty diaper of screaming, kicking little boy.

And as I was doing a pile of dishes the Lord and I had a little conversation that went like this.
Me: "Lord, I need some help here.  I want to be patient, kind, and loving."
God: "Come away my child".
Me: "But, I have this pile of dishes to do before Obi wakes up.  It will be impossibly hard to do once he gets up".
God: "I know, but this is more important".
Me: "Can I just get this sink-full done and then come?"
God: "Yes, I am here waiting for you."

I so wish that I had just left the dishes.  They would have waited.  Why did I let God wait, and not the dishes?  Just as I was rinsing off the last one and I was flipped the switch off on the garbage disposal I heard a little voice crying.  My chance for solitude and quiet for my soul was gone.

Thankfully, God worked a small miracle with my kiddo and had him occupied for a few minutes in his room later on and I crept over to my bible and laptop.  What I came to was this, " yet I will rejoice in he Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.  The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to on the heights." Habakuk 3:18-19.  I must find my strength in the Lord and I must choose to rejoice and be joyful. Ah...that is so hard to do.  But He says that He enables me to go on to the heights.  Maybe today my "heights" are only making it through a day without giving in to the temptation to be upset or lose my patience.  But today that would truly have been a "height".  So that is what I asked for, and that is what I meditated on throughout the rest of my afternoon.  That God would enable me to go to the high places.  From there I can see beyond myself and my little corner of the world.  Fortunately, His mercies are new every morning.  I am going to need some mercy and some enabling of my feet tomorrow.  But I would rather live striving towards the high place rather than spiraling downward into myself and my little problems. 

You know what I newly discovered today?  Choosing to be joyful and to rejoice in the Lord makes for a much more pleasant day, for both myself and my family. And really, the life God has blessed me with is fantastic, warts and all.