We did it! I made it to Colorado and back by myself with a 12 week old baby. The ladies at the Denver TSA gave me the award for "most creative use of the tub". See, I was struggling to figure out what to do with my wobbly 12 week old Obi while I took off my shoes and jacket, collapsed the stroller, took out my laptop, and put all that stuff...as well as the diaper bag onto the conveyer belt to be scanned. I obviously couldn't put him on the floor, so I made use of the tubs and made one into a little baby carrier for a few moments. Obi didn't seem to mind too much, which was a good thing since there was a line of people waiting to put their posessions on the belt after me. As for the flights, my baby didn't cry once. Not on the way there, not on the way home. It's official: I have a fabulous baby! I mean, I knew that was true...but it was nice to have it confirmed yet again.
Our trip to Colorado was good. There was some tough stuff, but it was a great time of visiting with my family and loving on each other during a time of need. I was reminded about what is important in life. I am blessed to have people in my life with whom I can love, support, draw support, cry, laugh, and just be who I am without judgement. My family has warts, but what family doesn't? What my family does have is a lot of love for each other, and that is what matters!
I am exhausted, so I am heading to bed...but I just wanted to post briefly to say that we are home again and that God has once again proven Himself to be faithful. I saw that evidenced in both the big and the small details of this trip. God is good, in so very many ways.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
it's so unfair
Guess what? When I woke up this morning, I woke up at my house in Arkansas. There are dirty dishes in my sink, homework that is begging to be done, a living room that needs to be picked up, and a dog that wants a walk (but it is misty rainy). Guess where my husband woke up? In Cologne, Germany. He got to go walk through cobblestone streets, drink FABULOUS German coffee, not to mention drink in the lovely German culture. Yeah, I suppose he does have to work while he is there...but can it really be called work when he is in Germany? No, I think not! I am not green with envy because I really am excited for him to go and experience it, but I don't mind saying that IT'S NOT FAIR that I didn't get to go too.
Obadiah and I are headed out to Colorado later this week, so that kinda makes up for the unfairness of the situation. ;-) Obi will get to meet his uncles and aunt and his Grandpa. I can't wait to take pictures of them all together and to spend time. I don't get to see my family as often as I would like. The last time that we were all together was last Christmas...I've only seen my mom and my youngest brother since then. I am thankful for this opportunity to be with them.
I've got a lot of thoughts rattling around in my head at the moment. Some are of consequence, some are not. I was talking with my husband the other day and he made a comment about how he thought that after I stopped working I wouldn't have so many things going on and that I wouldn't be stressed. It made me think that though my situation may change, I can still busy myself to the point of stress. I've been thinking of what it means to be still before the Lord. How do we carry on our every day routines while still living in His rest? I am learning a lot about prayer at this moment in my life. I am continually having to pray and give my thoughts (good, bad, worrisome) to the Lord and give Him charge of what goes on in my life. I want to be led by the still waters and when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death to know, feel and believe that God is with me...because He IS!
Obadiah and I are headed out to Colorado later this week, so that kinda makes up for the unfairness of the situation. ;-) Obi will get to meet his uncles and aunt and his Grandpa. I can't wait to take pictures of them all together and to spend time. I don't get to see my family as often as I would like. The last time that we were all together was last Christmas...I've only seen my mom and my youngest brother since then. I am thankful for this opportunity to be with them.
I've got a lot of thoughts rattling around in my head at the moment. Some are of consequence, some are not. I was talking with my husband the other day and he made a comment about how he thought that after I stopped working I wouldn't have so many things going on and that I wouldn't be stressed. It made me think that though my situation may change, I can still busy myself to the point of stress. I've been thinking of what it means to be still before the Lord. How do we carry on our every day routines while still living in His rest? I am learning a lot about prayer at this moment in my life. I am continually having to pray and give my thoughts (good, bad, worrisome) to the Lord and give Him charge of what goes on in my life. I want to be led by the still waters and when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death to know, feel and believe that God is with me...because He IS!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Ode to Food
So a few weeks ago Jason and I broke down and re-upped our cable. It was mostly becuase it was just SO quiet around the house after Obi was born and mom had gone back home. It was starting to get a little lonely. I think we've decided to call the cable company back though and have them disconnect it, yet again. Why, you may ask? Good question. Well, most of it has to do with the fact that there is very little to watch on tv that is decent. Does anyone remember the days when TLC used to really be "The Learning Channel"? Or that the history channel had more shows that were historical in nature, rather than the repetitive shows about the impending doom upon the world if we just happen to run into a meteorite that is large enough to blow us off our usual orbit. I just can't stomach the show after show that say the world is gonna end tomorrow so we better stop using extra-soft tp and run our cars on recycled corn oil just in case we can stop that meteorite from hitting us!
But I digress. If we do give it up again the one channel that I will ALWAYS miss is the Food Network. Oh how I love it! I could soak up every minute of Paula Dean, Ina Garten and Bobby Flay. Alton Brown, I learned how to truly scramble an egg from you. I watch the Iron Chef and smugly think that I could surely do as good of a job as any of the competitors do. I'd die to be one of the guests at Giada's patio table. Well, in honor of my love for the food network, and well...just food in general...I made some Orange Cranberry scones tonight to take to Bible study tomorrow. In the words of Rachel Ray: Yum-O! Barefoot Contessa, you are my new virtual best friend. You have just made this girl in the middle of Nowhere, Arkansas, feel like she's just become a little more civilized. So, pass the butter and the orange marmalade. Here's the recipe:
nocoupons
But I digress. If we do give it up again the one channel that I will ALWAYS miss is the Food Network. Oh how I love it! I could soak up every minute of Paula Dean, Ina Garten and Bobby Flay. Alton Brown, I learned how to truly scramble an egg from you. I watch the Iron Chef and smugly think that I could surely do as good of a job as any of the competitors do. I'd die to be one of the guests at Giada's patio table. Well, in honor of my love for the food network, and well...just food in general...I made some Orange Cranberry scones tonight to take to Bible study tomorrow. In the words of Rachel Ray: Yum-O! Barefoot Contessa, you are my new virtual best friend. You have just made this girl in the middle of Nowhere, Arkansas, feel like she's just become a little more civilized. So, pass the butter and the orange marmalade. Here's the recipe:
nocoupons
- 4 cups plus 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
- 1/4 cup sugar, plus additional for sprinkling
- 2 tablespoons baking powder
- 2 teaspoons kosher salt
- 1 tablespoon grated orange zest
- 3/4 pound cold unsalted butter, diced
- 4 extra-large eggs, lightly beaten
- 1 cup cold heavy cream
- 1 cup dried cranberries
- 1 egg beaten with 2 tablespoons water or milk, for egg wash
- 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar, plus 2 tablespoons
- 4 teaspoons freshly squeezed orange juice
Directions
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, mix 4 cups of flour, 1/4 cup sugar, the baking powder, salt and orange zest. Add the cold butter and mix at the lowest speed until the butter is the size of peas. Combine the eggs and heavy cream and, with the mixer on low speed, slowly pour into the flour and butter mixture. Mix until just blended. The dough will look lumpy! Combine the dried cranberries and 1/4 cup of flour, add to the dough, and mix on low speed until blended.
Dump the dough onto a well-floured surface and knead it into a ball. Flour your hands and a rolling pin and roll the dough 3/4-inch thick. You should see small bits of butter in the dough. Keep moving the dough on the floured board so it doesn't stick. Flour a 3-inch round plain or fluted cutter and cut circles of dough. Place the scones on a baking pan lined with parchment paper. Collect the scraps neatly, roll them out, and cut more circles.
Brush the tops of the scones with egg wash, sprinkle with sugar, and bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until the tops are browned and the insides are fully baked. The scones will be firm to the touch. Allow the scones to cool for 15 minutes and then whisk together the confectioners' sugar and orange juice, and drizzle over the scones.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Random thoughts
Tonight I have nothing profound to write about, just some random thoughts and questions like,
- Why do most people have their blinds/curtains closed all the time? Seriously, every time I go for a walk (usually during the day) almost no window has it's curtains open. Why not let the sunshine in? No wonder some people suffer fromd depression and seasonal affective disorder! I would too if I lived in a house that was rarely opened up to the beautiful day.
- Every year I say that I want to grow a garden. This year I didn't becuase let's face it, I couldn't bend over! I know it's not time for new year's resolutions yet, but I am going to take some time this spring and really plan out a garden for this next summer/fall. I am so wishing that I had some fall veggies that I could harvest right about now.
- I went on a walk today and it smelled like fall. Apparently the fall smell really is just moldy rotting leaves that have fallen and gotten wet and are now decomposing. Who knew that mold could smell so good? And, isn't it amazing at how you don't smell fall for months and then that first whiff of it in October is so familiar?
- In the middle of September I joined a ladies Bible study and we are going through the Book of Daniel. I am LOVING it!! There is so much to glean from that book and so much of it I've overlooked in the past. Also, I am having to eat my words. I've always been a scoffer of women's Bible studies (my brothers were also fellow scoffers), mainly because it seemed like, well, a pansy thing to belong to. You know, just mushy ladies that only talk about the gentle side of God. This study is anything but that. And, maybe becuase I am now a mom and a "stay at home-er" that I crave interaction with other women, other mom's.
- This weekend I was in the library at the University of Arkansas feeding Obi (I know, I know...a random place to feed my kid) and well...there were only about 5 people in the room we were in, but Obi tooted while he was eating. It wasn't a quiet toot either, he just let it rip! All of the sudden I was really questioning my judgement for choosing the library, of all places, to nurse Obi. At least the Korean dude sitting across from me didn't seem too disturbed.
That's all I got for tonight folks. Have a great week!
- Why do most people have their blinds/curtains closed all the time? Seriously, every time I go for a walk (usually during the day) almost no window has it's curtains open. Why not let the sunshine in? No wonder some people suffer fromd depression and seasonal affective disorder! I would too if I lived in a house that was rarely opened up to the beautiful day.
- Every year I say that I want to grow a garden. This year I didn't becuase let's face it, I couldn't bend over! I know it's not time for new year's resolutions yet, but I am going to take some time this spring and really plan out a garden for this next summer/fall. I am so wishing that I had some fall veggies that I could harvest right about now.
- I went on a walk today and it smelled like fall. Apparently the fall smell really is just moldy rotting leaves that have fallen and gotten wet and are now decomposing. Who knew that mold could smell so good? And, isn't it amazing at how you don't smell fall for months and then that first whiff of it in October is so familiar?
- In the middle of September I joined a ladies Bible study and we are going through the Book of Daniel. I am LOVING it!! There is so much to glean from that book and so much of it I've overlooked in the past. Also, I am having to eat my words. I've always been a scoffer of women's Bible studies (my brothers were also fellow scoffers), mainly because it seemed like, well, a pansy thing to belong to. You know, just mushy ladies that only talk about the gentle side of God. This study is anything but that. And, maybe becuase I am now a mom and a "stay at home-er" that I crave interaction with other women, other mom's.
- This weekend I was in the library at the University of Arkansas feeding Obi (I know, I know...a random place to feed my kid) and well...there were only about 5 people in the room we were in, but Obi tooted while he was eating. It wasn't a quiet toot either, he just let it rip! All of the sudden I was really questioning my judgement for choosing the library, of all places, to nurse Obi. At least the Korean dude sitting across from me didn't seem too disturbed.
That's all I got for tonight folks. Have a great week!
Monday, September 28, 2009
A thing that totally stinks!
So, I have a new "thing" list that needs to be added to the below post.
Things that totally stink:
- Baby's first shots...I am still not exactly sure which one of us it hurt most, him or me?! My sweet baby almost never cries, and in fact I have only heard him out and out scream just two or three times. The shots though, gosh...he screamed when they gave them to him, and then a few hours later you could just tell he felt awful. He was crying and screamed and wouldn't be consoled, that has never happened! So, we went and bought some baby tylenol and that has helped immensely.
On a positive note though, he is 23.5 inches long, 13lbs. 10oz., and growing very well. The doctor said that he is a nicely proportioned child that is on the big (NOT fat) side of average. We just may have a tall kid on our hands one day!
Ok, that's it for tonight. I need to get a few things done before his tylenol wears off.
Things that totally stink:
- Baby's first shots...I am still not exactly sure which one of us it hurt most, him or me?! My sweet baby almost never cries, and in fact I have only heard him out and out scream just two or three times. The shots though, gosh...he screamed when they gave them to him, and then a few hours later you could just tell he felt awful. He was crying and screamed and wouldn't be consoled, that has never happened! So, we went and bought some baby tylenol and that has helped immensely.
On a positive note though, he is 23.5 inches long, 13lbs. 10oz., and growing very well. The doctor said that he is a nicely proportioned child that is on the big (NOT fat) side of average. We just may have a tall kid on our hands one day!
Ok, that's it for tonight. I need to get a few things done before his tylenol wears off.
Friday, September 25, 2009
things
I have been horrible at keeping this blog updated. My darling baby is now two months old. The time has FLOWN by! I can't believe that nine weeks ago I was in the hospital with a brand new baby. It feels like he has been a part of "us" for much longer than nine weeks. For the most part the transition has been super smooth and we've adjusted really well to having Mr. Obi as our son.
Things that have surprised me:
- baby fingernails grow really fast
- how much I love my video baby monitor, it is so helpful
- that I need to pack a change of clothes for myself along with Obi's diaper bag
- I really miss regular coffee
- that I DID eat a lot of dairy....didn't think I did until I had to refrain...sad day!
- my motivation to do homework went from medium to zero
- jumbo and mega packs of diapers seemed like a never ending supply. this is not true, the supply ends rather quickly.
Things that drive me crazy:
- Pooka shutting himself in the bathroom when he wants attention.
- that my cell phone always rings just after I have started to feed Obi
Things that I didn't think about before Obi was born:
- that I don't know the words to nursery rhymes or lullaby's, kinda hard to sing to him if I don't know the words!
- BIG dilema...what to do...load the groceries, then the baby? the baby, then the groceries? what about the shopping cart? Does that go back after the baby is in the car? take the baby with the cart back to the stall, and then carry the baby back to the car? AGH...these instructions weren't in the mommy manual.
Things that I love:
- the smell of my baby right after he gets out of the bathtub
- when Jason talks to Obi and tells him about the fun things they are going to do together
- going on walks together as a family
- snuggling together
- listening to Obi try and "talk" to me
- staying home, instead of going to work
There are lots more things in each category to be sure, but I can't think of any more right now.
Things that have surprised me:
- baby fingernails grow really fast
- how much I love my video baby monitor, it is so helpful
- that I need to pack a change of clothes for myself along with Obi's diaper bag
- I really miss regular coffee
- that I DID eat a lot of dairy....didn't think I did until I had to refrain...sad day!
- my motivation to do homework went from medium to zero
- jumbo and mega packs of diapers seemed like a never ending supply. this is not true, the supply ends rather quickly.
Things that drive me crazy:
- Pooka shutting himself in the bathroom when he wants attention.
- that my cell phone always rings just after I have started to feed Obi
Things that I didn't think about before Obi was born:
- that I don't know the words to nursery rhymes or lullaby's, kinda hard to sing to him if I don't know the words!
- BIG dilema...what to do...load the groceries, then the baby? the baby, then the groceries? what about the shopping cart? Does that go back after the baby is in the car? take the baby with the cart back to the stall, and then carry the baby back to the car? AGH...these instructions weren't in the mommy manual.
Things that I love:
- the smell of my baby right after he gets out of the bathtub
- when Jason talks to Obi and tells him about the fun things they are going to do together
- going on walks together as a family
- snuggling together
- listening to Obi try and "talk" to me
- staying home, instead of going to work
There are lots more things in each category to be sure, but I can't think of any more right now.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
This thing called school
There is a huge dilemma staring me down at the moment, it is this thing called school. You see, I started my masters program almost two years ago. I've been taking classes year round, with the exception of the 8 weeks I took off while having Obi. There are a few things that I have said regarding my continuing education...
"I'll just work 10-15, at most 20, hours a week after I graduate."
"I want to do something with my life, more than just being a stay at home mom."
"If something were to happen to Jason, I don't know that I could provide for our family very well on just my bachelor's degree."
"I want to help people."
The thing is, that once I had my little Obi, it was like the world changed for me. I don't want to go anywhere for 10-15, at most 20 hours a week!! I want nothing more that to be with my little boy and be his mommy. I don't want to miss out on anything in his life. The nights that I have to go to class are awful. Not that going to class is that hard, but I just dread it all day long. I have ZERO motivation to do homework (which is not a good thing). My biggest problem is that after this semester is over I will start my practicum. Between the practicum hours and the classes I need to take in order to graduate by May 2011, I will be gone from him at least 20 hours a week, probably more every week until graduation!!
So, I am weighing my options...
1. Carry on and just push through.
2. Delay graduation and take a slower pace.
3. See if there isn't a program at another university that I could transfer to and just graduate with a master's without being licensed to counsel.
4. Quit altogether.
I am praying. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel guilty for wanting to quit, I feel as though I am letting everyone around me down. Who knows why I feel that way. I feel guilty for just wanting to be a mom. What I do know is that guilt is not of the Lord. I do know that my "doing something with my life" is not determined by having a masters degree. I was going to quit the second week of classes, but decided to go ahead and finish out this semester in order to give myself time to think, process, pray and decide.
I am thankful that I have a VERY supportive husband who doesn't care what I do as long as in the end I am happy. What would I do without this best friend of mine? I am sure that once we are all sleeping through the night and Obi isn't eating every three hours during the day that it will get a lot easier and I may feel different than I do right now. I don't know...so again, I am just praying for wisdom and discernment. I know that God will be faithful to give me an answer, and in the meantime, walk beside me as I try and figure it all out.
"I'll just work 10-15, at most 20, hours a week after I graduate."
"I want to do something with my life, more than just being a stay at home mom."
"If something were to happen to Jason, I don't know that I could provide for our family very well on just my bachelor's degree."
"I want to help people."
The thing is, that once I had my little Obi, it was like the world changed for me. I don't want to go anywhere for 10-15, at most 20 hours a week!! I want nothing more that to be with my little boy and be his mommy. I don't want to miss out on anything in his life. The nights that I have to go to class are awful. Not that going to class is that hard, but I just dread it all day long. I have ZERO motivation to do homework (which is not a good thing). My biggest problem is that after this semester is over I will start my practicum. Between the practicum hours and the classes I need to take in order to graduate by May 2011, I will be gone from him at least 20 hours a week, probably more every week until graduation!!
So, I am weighing my options...
1. Carry on and just push through.
2. Delay graduation and take a slower pace.
3. See if there isn't a program at another university that I could transfer to and just graduate with a master's without being licensed to counsel.
4. Quit altogether.
I am praying. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel guilty for wanting to quit, I feel as though I am letting everyone around me down. Who knows why I feel that way. I feel guilty for just wanting to be a mom. What I do know is that guilt is not of the Lord. I do know that my "doing something with my life" is not determined by having a masters degree. I was going to quit the second week of classes, but decided to go ahead and finish out this semester in order to give myself time to think, process, pray and decide.
I am thankful that I have a VERY supportive husband who doesn't care what I do as long as in the end I am happy. What would I do without this best friend of mine? I am sure that once we are all sleeping through the night and Obi isn't eating every three hours during the day that it will get a lot easier and I may feel different than I do right now. I don't know...so again, I am just praying for wisdom and discernment. I know that God will be faithful to give me an answer, and in the meantime, walk beside me as I try and figure it all out.
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