confessions of a non-teenage drama queen

My dear husband is spending this week in Puerto Rico. Can I say that I am slightly jealous?!! He called me two nights ago and said he was laying in a hammock between two palm trees watching the waves crash onto the shore and was drinking a corona. AH!!! I was sitting on my couch, fighting the dog for space, massaging my swollen ankles and eating a leftover baked potato. Sometimes life is so very much unfair.

Anyways, before he left he said "Sweetie, our vendor has given us a hotel room for Friday night in Rogers and it is free drinks and all these fun people are going to be there. You want to go? It will be romantic and we'll get to spend some time together". Well, I kinda flipped out on the inside. You want to know why? Because in my mind, this was my conversation I had with myself..."Great, a hotel...that means a swimming pool, which sounds great, but I have no bathing suit. Cocktails...YUM, but I can't have any. Fun people...true, but all their wives are SUPER cute gals that always look put together and are skinny. Currently there are two shirts that my stomach fits into and they are both t-shirts...no pants/skirts that are dressy enough and my feet won't even fit into flip flops much less into heels...I will yet AGAIN be "frump girl" and I will totally be an embarrassment to my husband." It didn't help that I was falling asleep while typing a paper while he told me this. I dragged my butt upstairs, fell into bed and almost started crying. I am blessed to have a husband that sat beside me, rubbed my feet and said "this is ridiculous, we are saving money becuase of the baby, it is the baby that is causing all these body changes, while I am gone I want you to go shopping and get whatever you need!"

So, yesterday I left work and drove to Fayetteville and bought a BUNCH of clothes and some shoes. I haven't spent that much money on clothes in YEARS! I gotta tell you, it was a huge relief this morning to wake up and look in my closet and realize that I do in fact have something to wear. Granted, I still won't be wearing heels tomorrow night becuase my feet really will not fit in them, but, at least from my shins up I will feel presentable. It was funny though, I haven't seen myself in a full legnth mirror in a while (I don't own one)...so yesterday while in the changing rooms and trying to find a bra that fits, I realized that my body has morphed into something else entirely different that what it used to be!!! I was SHOCKED! Not that I was really slim or trim beforehand, but it is beginning to really soak in that being a mother means sacrificing everything. I kinda thought that meant mostly just sacrificing sleep, sharing your food, no more spare time...ya know, that kinda stuff. But, nope...my boobs are no longer what I would consider "mine". I hear it only gets worse after the baby comes. I had a moment of panic...called Jason and apologized for the fact that I didn't realize just how umm..ugly my boobs have gotten. He just laughed and said he didn't think they were ugly and he thinks it has been fun to watch my body change. I am a fortunate girl! All I have to say is, thank the Lord that I don't live in a naked tribe in Africa. I can wear clothes over all those body parts I am sincerely not fond of. ;-)

Ok...there is my superficial ramblings for today. Sorry if that was too much information. Just needed to get that off my chest (ha..no pun intended).

Jason took this picture last week...so here I am in all my (clothed) glory:

It really is worth it! I can't wait to see his little face!

15 years

No deep thoughts for tonight...just a fun thing I saw on another blog:

15 years
HOW MUCH HAVE YOU CHANGED IN 15 YEARS?

****15 YEARS AGO (1994)****

1) How old were you? ... 11
2) Who were you dating? nobody, but I totally had a crush on a high school boy named Bret
3) Where did you work? Just watching my little bros
4) Where did you live? Pifo, Ecuador
5) Where did you hang out? In a treehouse across the field from my house
6) Did you wear contacts and/or glasses? big plastic purple glasses
7) Who did you hang out with? Kari & Janelle
8) How many tattoos did you have? None
9) How many piercings did you have? None
10) What kind of car did you drive? None
11) Had you been to a real party? Nope
12) Had you had your heart broken? Nope
13) Were you Single/taken/Married/Divorced? I repeat...I was 11
14) Any Kids? Nope

***10 YEARS AGO (1999)***

1) How old were you? 17
2) Who were you dating? Nope
3) Where did you work? I was a nanny 
4) Where did you live? Corning, NY
5) Where did you hang out? at a friend's house
6) Did you wear contacts and/or glasses? Yup....big metal framed blue speckled glasses
7) Who did you hang out with? Amber & Laura
8) How many tattoos did you have? None
9) How many piercings did you have? just my ears
10) Were you Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? single
11)Any Kids? Nope
12)What kind of car did you have? I drove an old woody station wagon with four car seats in it for the kids I nannied. 

**** 5 Years Ago (2004) *****

1) Age?... 21
2) Where did you work? The admissions office on campus
3) Where did you live? on the JBU campus
4) Where you in school? my junior year at JBU
5) Where did you hang out? school, Jason's apartment, fayetteville
6) Did you wear contacts and/or glasses? contacts...finally!
7) Who did you hang out with? Mindy, Andrea, Jamie, Carissa, Jason
8) How many tattoos did you have? None
9) How many piercings did you have? two in my ears, one cartilage, one nose piercing
10) Were you Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Dating
11)Any Kids? Nope
12)What kind of car did you have? 2003 Hyundai Elantra 

****TODAY (2009)****
1) Age? 26
2) Where do you work? JBU admissions office (for 5 more weeks)
3) Where do you live? Siloam Springs
4) Where do you hang out? My house, sometimes the local coffee shop
6) Do you talk to your old friends? a few
7) Who are your best friends? Elizabeth, Mindy, Heidi
8) How many piercings do you have? just my ears now
9) Do you wear contacts and/or glasses?  yup
10) How many tattoos? none
11) What kind of car do you have? 1996 Honda Accord
12) How many kids? One still in the womb :-)
13) Are you Single/Taken/Married/Divorce? Married to my favorite person in the world. 

Thoughts tonight

I have been meaning to post, but wanted to put up some pictures of my belly and so was waiting.  Unfortunately my hubby isn't so great about taking pictures for me and since i don't have a full length mirror, I can't even take them of myself holding the camera.  Just know that my belly (and my rear end) is growing a LOT.  

So, I have been thinking a lot the past few weeks.  Contemplating on life, the new life that is about to make his appearance, the economy, our house situation and what not.  I have really had to consciously choose not to worry.  When I start fretting over what "could be" or what "might happen" I just have to stop and pray and ask that God would give me peace and that He would do His perfect will in my life.  In the Bible there are a lot of verses that about the need for people to trust in the Lord.  He told that to the people in the Bible, but He is also telling that to me.  So, here is my list of things that tonight I really want to worry about, but am choosing not to: 

- our house selling at the right time, at the right price

- finding a new home that will have room for us, the baby, all the family about to visit and our dog.

- all my papers and finals for the next month

- finding a carseat and stroller that meets my budget

- the financial changes in a month when I stop working

- picking a good name for my kid

It is so hard to choose NOT to worry and to just let God handle the details.  I was thinking back to the book "The Shack".  I don't necessarily agree with everything the book portrayed God to be, but the part that made the most impact on me was that God IS accessible to me.  Not only that, but He WANTS me to come to him and say "Dad, I am struggling with this, could you handle it for me?" I often think that he has better things to do and more important people to take care of, but that isn't true.  God created me because He wants to spend time with me and love on me.  I am trying to rest and bask in that tonight.  God is good.  Always.  Just needed to remember that again. 

this week

Last week was a nightmare between work and school.  BUT...this week, well, it is a whole other story.  This week is Spring Break and I decided to take the whole week off of BOTH work and school.  My youngest brother came in on Thursday night and is spending the week with us.  I am so excited to have him here as he is helping me do a bunch of stuff around the house.  Yesterday and today we did some major landscaping and yard work.  We borrowed a friend's truck and hauled THREE truckloads of mulch from the city yard to the house.  Thankfully, it only cost me a grand total of $3.00.  Yup, that ice storm back in January was good for something after all.  :-) I can't imagine how much we would have spent at the hardware store if I had bought bags of mulch.  My body is tired and a bit sore, but it feels so good to have accomplished a major task that I've been dreading.  I couldn't have done it without Jon!!  Tomorrow we are tackling a few projects inside the house.  We are having fun too...plenty of movies and the like.  

Saturday we went to OK to visit Miss Martinez on her first birthday!  It was so much fun to see her waddle around.  She is such a part of their family and it is incredible to believe that one year ago she was making her debut and her family was wondering how things would change.  I know that they wouldn't trade it for anything.  We had a great time...and are so glad we were able to make it.  

a real deal

I am SO excited!  I just played the online Old Navy coupon game and snagged a coupon for $50 off $100 purchase!!!  Apparently they reset the site everything Thursday (we just played at 11pm) and they have coupons for up to $75 off $100.  Not bad, huh?  Here is the link: www.oldnavyweekly.com  you just click around till a coupon pops up.  In other deals this week... I took three coupons to Walgreens and walked out with free shampoo & toothpaste and a pack of huggies diapers for $5.00.  I am pretty darn proud of myself. I took Jason with me to Walgreens, because I didn't want to be by myself if the cashier said something like "oh, you can't use these", but the cashier was congratulating me on my finds.  When I walked out I felt a little like a bandit. 

In other news though, I have two tests and a presentation this Tuesday night in class.  I am way nervous about my psychopharmacology test, but I am trying to do my studying early so that I won't have to cram it all in last minute. 

The baby is kicking like crazy....all day long.  I am half laughing now, but a little worried that if he is this active outside the womb, I might be in for a real race.  :-)  Either way, I am SO excited to meet him.  Still no closer on the name front.  But, we've got time, right?  That is what I am telling myself anyways. 

Well, I am off to bed to rest up before the nightly kicking rounds wake me up. 

Names, coupons and a recipe

So, my post this time is exactly what the title says it will be. 

#1- Names.  

Jason and I have come to a distinct disagreement between what our version of "unique and different" mean.  But we both agree that we want a name that is fun, not entirely common (or used right now), and is easy for people to spell without having to always ask.  We have decided that we would each gather up a list and them come together and compare notes/lists.  I think that in that spirit I will ask for help from my friends.  We are looking for a shorter name (Jason likes one to two syllable names best).  So far, my favorite two are Finn and Silas.  If the child was born tonight, I think I would name him Finn.  Anyways...give me your ideas if you please!

#2- Coupons. 

Since we are trying to conserve money on all angles, I have tried my hand a coupon clipping.  Now, the Sunday paper doesn't give me a lot of options, but it is at least something.  Yesterday I found a $5.00 off coupon for the exact brand of dog food that I buy!  I have saved at least a few bucks that way.  So today, I was surfing some of my friends blogs and came across a new one that a college friend started.  It is called http://thefrugalmuse.blogspot.com .  She has been working at this deal hunting/coupon clipping stuff for a while and has a some great tips.  I was so thrilled about it that I've already printed off some coupons from her links and thought I should pass it along to you. Good luck to you.

#3- Recipe. 

I enjoy cooking, and have enjoyed it since I was a kid.  It has always been a fun hobby for me.  I am thankful that my mom wanted to teach me how to cook.  One thing that I have always suffered with though is cookies.  I LOVE a soft, chewy, melt-in-your-mouth cookie.  But mine always turn out crispy and crunchy.  Last week while I was at the store I decided to go ahead and splurge, spend the extra $2.48 and buy a bag of Hershey's Dark Chocolate chips.  I just did the recipe on the back of the bag and presto...the cookie that has always alluded my skills!  I am pretty darn excited.  

In case you don't want to go out and buy a bag of the chips just for the recipe, here it is:

2-1/4 cup flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup (2 sticks) butter

3/4 cup brown sugar

3/4 cup granulated sugar

1 tsp vanilla

2 eggs

2 cups chocolate chips

1 cup chopped nuts (I used pecans)

Cream together sugar and butter, add egg and vanilla...stir.  Add in flour, salt & soda...stir.  Mix in the chocolate chips and nuts.  Bake at 375 for 8-10 minutes.  

That's it!  :-)  Happy cookie making.

random news

Jason and I went to the Dr on Friday for the big ultrasound.  Our little boy (YUP...it is confirmed) is growing right along track and as far as we can tell...has all his fingers and toes.  I am still so awed by him and how God is growing him right now.  I feel honored to be his mother and cannot wait to meet his little face and tell him that he is mine!  Each day I can feel him moving more and more.  I didn't know that it was possible to love someone so much, when I haven't even seen him yet.  I have always heard other parents talk about how the moment they see their child they are smitten.  Even without seeing him, I can totally understand that sentiment.  We are continuing to pray for him that he will grow safe and healthy.  20 weeks feels like a long time still, but the past 20 weeks have literally flown by, so I know our final drive to the hospital will be here before we know it.  

We are excited to know for sure that he is a boy, and now I can start buying the necessities.  I am on the hunt for a pottery barn crib set with airplanes or sailboats on it.  No way that I can/will pay for the full priced item, but so far I've seen some good options on ebay and craigslist. The big news is that we FINALLY decided on a stroller.  Jason wanted something that wasn't bulky or plastic"y", which I totally agreed with, but trying to find one in our price range that fit the bill took some effort. We've settled on the Britax Vigour and the Companion car seat to go with it.  I am pretty thrilled...just doing some more ebaying to find an awesome deal on it.  

I took two exams last week and got my grades back.  Needless to say, I think I have found my niche for counseling.  My family sexuality test I got 104...all questions correct including the four bonus questions.  NEVER does that happen for me.  My Psychopharm test, well, let's just say that it was not a robust of a grade.  I told Jason my grade and he said "so, what you're saying is that when it comes to sex, you know all there is to know, plus some!"  I just might hang my hat as a Sex Therapist.  But, the negative is that no one would really want to admit that they were my clients.  Hmmm...pros and cons, pros and cons. 

This weekend has been great.  We went out for dinner with some friends on Friday night, and Jason worked ALL day yesterday in the snow to dig holes and start building the deck.  I am very proud of him and a little jealous.  I am such a wimp when it comes to the cold.  I don't want to be, but as a child of the tropics, I just can't help myself.  So, I did some laundry, puttered around the house and and am now writing a presentation on Sexual Aversion Disorder. (really, this sex class is quite fun and fascinating). Later this afternoon I am going to make a yummy lasagna and maybe pull out a can of paint to do some touch up work around the house.  Whatever I do, it will be with my sweetheart, so it is bound to be good.   Hope your weekends have all been as relaxing as mine.