My mom went home yesterday. I almost started to cry when I hugged her goodbye at the airport, but I held myself together. I kept repeating in my head "I can do this, I can do this". I am not nervous about taking care of Obi. I am more just nervous about being alone so much. It is starting to hit me at how quiet things are going to be now compared with working at JBU. Don't get me wrong...I KNOW there is going to be lots to do, but until Obi can start interacting a bit more, it is going to just be me talking to him. We'll figure it out, but it is just an adjustment.
On our first day alone together, Obi and I ran some errands around town and then went to Wal-mart...because really, when you live in our little town there isn't much else to do. I've had several people comment on me being out of the house already when Obi is only two weeks old. I think they mean it as a compliment, but really, for my sanity I NEED to get out of my house and see the outside world. Even if Obi and I just go for a walk around the block it helps my outlook on life. :-) I can get a little cranky if I spend too much time in my house.
I meant to post this earlier, but I started a blog for Obi. It is mainly for family to keep updated on what he is up to and for me to post a ton of pictures of him.
God has been teaching me so much about Himself these past two weeks. There are so many new fears or worries that had never crossed my mind before. I do not want to become a worrisome person, so there are a few verses in Psalms that have meant a lot to me over the past few days. There is one in particular that speaks about us taking refuge under the shadow of His wings. It is such a beautiful picture to me. To think of being nestled underneath God's wing and know that He is braving whatever storms may come. God is so good. When I think about all the prayers and tears that I said and cried before getting pregnant, it causes me to be so extremely humbled that God has entrusted this little soul into my care. I need His help for certain! And, when any thoughts of fear start creaping into my mind, I keep telling myself that Obadiah belongs to the Lord first and formost. He will not allow anything to happen to him unless it is supposed to.
Well...enough of my rambling. My eyes are barely staying open, so I am going to hit the hay. I've got just another hour-ish before my babe will need a lil' something more in his tummy!
1 comment:
I love the image of cuddling up to God with his large wing blocking anything that could get to me. Seems very safe and cozy. I get what you mean too about being home with no other conversation. I don't do well with that either. I start to get cranky or sad or fearful. Hang in there..you are going to the right source to calm you.
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